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I don’t think anyone who has had a little boy could make the argument that masculinity  is something that we train in our kids.  When Isaac was 17 months old, someone handed me a book full of trucks to show him.  I assumed the book would not hold his attention for long, after all it was a book with nothing but construction trucks in it—I thought it seemed rather dull.  Imagine my surprise when his face lit up as he pointed to each vehicle.  From there he became captivated with anything that had an engine.  Since that experience, I’ve noticed that every little boy I’ve known has gone through a stage where he is obsessed with trucks, trains, and planes.

My girls on the other hand, like girly things.  Sure they’ll play with a truck or drive a car around the room, but they show their gender identity in different ways. 

This morning I went to check on the girls and found Charlotte still in bed with one Sunday shoe on and Nicole wearing one of Charlotte’s shoes and bringing Charlotte another shoe.  That scene is what prompted this blog post.  Lately if a shoe is left out, Nicole will try it on.   At least once a day she brings a pair of shoes to me while I”m feeding Ila and insists on putting the shoes on my feet, taking them off, and then putting them on again.  While browsing through my log the other day, I read a note I had written about Charlotte walking around the house listing each of her shoes and what the shoe is for (ie:  my pink crocks are for playing at grandma’s house. . .) . Their Gender-specific actions don’t stop at shoes.  Charlotte prefers to hint at wanting something rather than ask for it directly.  Like if she sees me eating a chocolate she might say something like “Chocolate is brown, Chocolates are my favorite candy. , , “ and she will continue describing the chocolate but never directly ask for it.  She waits for me to ask if she wants one.  One day I overheard her saying to her grandfather “that candy is not in my mouth.” (The picture is from this morning—note the mismatched shoes)

My girls play with toys differently as well.  When I was pregnant with Charlotte,  my mother-in-law got out a doll to get Isaac used to the idea of having a baby around.  Isaac never once picked up the doll to play with it, but both Charlotte and Nicole liked to hug dolls and other stuffed animals by that age.  One day, Charlotte and Isaac were playing with dolls.  Charlotte told Isaac that he was the dad and she was the mom and they each had a doll.  Charlotte lovingly rocked her doll and sang songs to it.  She made a bed in a laundry basket and laid her doll in the bed.  Isaac took the laundry basket, turned it upside down, put the doll inside and said something like “the baby is trapped.”

Charlotte loves to have her nails painted.  She likes to put on make-up and will volunteer to sit still for 30 minutes so that I can put foam curlers in her hair.

I don’t know why, but it makes me smile each time I see one of my kids expressing his or her gender identity.