My Two Cents
I have hesitated to write anything on this topic because I know there are some people in my life who read my blog whose opinions and feelings on this issue are opposed to mine and I do not wish to alienate those people from me and my family. Considering that, one might ask why I would write. I write because I see myself as a person who would rather stay silent than offend and I feel compelled to overcome some of my fear of offending and speak my beliefs with boldness. “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation. . .†[Romans 1:16]
I do not intend to turn this blog into something different than what it has been with this post, so you can click below if you want to read this one or skip it completely. Beware, this post is a long one.
This is a topic which I find myself confronted with more and more over the last several years, both personally with people I know, and in the world around me. And to be perfectly honest, it’s a subject that troubles me. It troubles me because I cannot reconcile what the world accepts as truth with my understanding of God and his plan. I will admit to not understanding many aspects of homosexuality and not having all the answers, but I believe that one day all things will be made clear. I don’t know if that time will happen in this life or the next, but I do not doubt that our loving Father in Heaven will make these things known to us.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the Lord’s true church. I am unwaveringly loyal to my faith and can think of no time when I have found myself in opposition to something declared by the church including statements made by the Prophet or the Apostles. Recently the church has been under attack for its support of proposition 8 in California and even more recently for statements made by President Boyd K Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I am glad that my faith will stand up for what is right, even when it is unpopular to do so. “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away. . .†[D&C 138].
The following are my thoughts on Homosexuality. Though I use some scriptures and words of the prophets to support my views, I do not claim the right to speak for the church. The church’s official statement can be found here.
First of all, I believe that God loves his children. He “. . .is no respecter of persons†[Acts 10:34]. He does not love one of his children more than another. He does not love me more for doing my best to follow him, than he loves those who stray from the path of righteousness.
He has stated that His purpose is “. . .to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man†[Moses 1:39]. This statement is amazing to me. His greatest desire is to help me and every other person on this earth be exalted and receive the highest degree of glory.
In order to receive that glory, we must be married. “In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; and in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.†[D&C 131: 1-3]. There are those who cannot marry through no fault of their own and we know through modern revelation that they will not be denied any blessings, they just might have to wait until the next life to be married.
Marriage must be between a man and a woman. “We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.†[The Family: A Proclamation to the World ].
I do not believe that a God who loves his children and desires more than anything else to have them receive the highest degree of glory, would create people, or a desire in people, that excludes them from exaltation.
Consider the following questions: “Are people born gay?†and “Can being gay be cured?†Science seems to be saying that people are born gay and that they cannot be cured. Science has been wrong before. Experiments regularly have unnoticed confounding variables and other imperfections. In other words, I will not necessarily accept something as fact because someone can present a scientific experiment that they claim proves their case. Science is imperfect, God is perfect.
If success in life is measured by achieving exaltation which can only be achieved after the “new and everlasting covenant of marriage†which marriage can only be between a man and a woman, then people who are born gay and cannot change also cannot be exalted. I don’t believe that God puts people on this earth in a situation where they have no ability to succeed or no chance of exaltation.
So if same sex attraction is contrary to God’s plan for exaltation, than what is it? Where does same sex attraction come from and why do so many of God’s children suffer from it? I wish I could answer those questions. I would call a desire contrary to God’s plan a temptation. Consider the following questions: Where does any temptation come from? Are temptations from Satan? Are they part of the natural man? Does Satan use weaknesses inherent in the natural man to tempt us? I don’t know that I can say with complete certainty where temptation comes from, but I do know that we all suffer temptations; at some point, we all feel the lure or attraction to do something contrary to God’s plan. The test of this life is to see what we will do with those temptations.
This is where the principle of agency or the ability to make our own choices comes in.
“ President David O. McKay, ninth President of the Church, said, “Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.†We know that we had our agency before this world was and that Lucifer attempted to take it from us. He had no confidence in the principle of agency or in us and argued for imposed salvation. He insisted that with his plan none would be lost, but he seemed not to recognize—or perhaps not to care—that in addition, none would be any wiser, any stronger, any more compassionate, or any more grateful if his plan were followed. We who chose the Savior’s plan knew that we would be embarking on a precarious, difficult journey, for we walk the ways of the world and sin and stumble, cutting us off from our Father. But the Firstborn in the Spirit offered Himself as a sacrifice to atone for the sins of all. Through unspeakable suffering He became the great Redeemer, the Savior of all mankind, thus making possible our successful return to our Father.†[President Thomas S. Monson ]
The world will say that we do not have agency, that we were born this way and that we have no choice. We always have a choice about how we act. I don’t know where same-sex attraction comes from or what one should do with it once it is discovered, but one who seeks to be faithful could find comfort in the words of Paul when he said, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.†[1 Corinthians 10:13 ] Through Paul’s words we know that there is a way to escape any temptation with which we are faced. I believe that way can be found in turning to Christ and his teachings in prayer and fasting and faith.
“. . .The Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil . . .†[Moroni 7:16] In other words, we all know within us the difference between good and evil. The world would claim that there is no morality. That there is no right and wrong, but to say that is to deny feelings deep within themselves that say this act or this choice is wrong. There is no real happiness in wrong choices. We learn in Alma that “Wickedness never was happiness†[Alma 41:10]. You cannot do wrong and feel right. Consider this principle in relation to the shocking statistics on LGBT suicide rates. These sons and daughters of God must know within themselves through the light of Christ that what they are doing is wrong and the world gives them no way to reconcile themselves. There is misery and unhappiness in making choices contrary to what you know in your heart is right.
I know that God loves His children. I know He wants us to be happy and to return to live with Him again. There is a way for all of His children to do so. We return to him through faith and repentance and the atonement of Jesus Christ makes up the difference.
Thanks for posting this. You did a very good job explaining your feelings on the issue. I can tell you put a lot of thought and work into understanding your feelings.
I agree with all of the doctrine that you shared. I am also very dedicated to the Church, and I admire it for standing up for what is right, as you do. I have dedicated my life to the Savior and I will continue to do so. I don’t mean to sound self-righteous, because I’ve definitely done my fair share of sinning in my life, I just mean to establish the same basis as you that I am a firm believer in God and in Mormonism.
I agree with you that God would not create some people to be incapable of achieving exaltation. In fact, I think that’s exactly what Elder Packer said in his talk. Just like you said, there is no temptation given to us that we cannot overcome.
However, there seems to be a little bit of ambiguity about what is temptation and what is not. As far as I can tell, the Church defines temptation as an enticing of the devil to get us to do something that is against the will of God. Thus, is attraction a temptation? It may not be very clear whether it is or not. I do not know whether the Church has said one way or the other. I would be interested to learn if they had. At any rate, setting that aside, I do not believe that sexual orientation is a temptation because that is merely the set of people to whom a person naturally feels attracted. Therefore, it is more of a description about a person than anything else. So even asking the question “can it be overcome†begins to be nonsense.
Concerning the matter of a particular person being attracted to another particular person, I believe there is plenty of evidence that this can and does change over time, quite often (but not always) due to a conscious effort on either or both parties. Whether it is possible in every case, I will not assert. In my own experience, every time I have tried to be attracted or not attracted to a certain person I have been successful, but I cannot speak for everyone. Clearly it is more difficult for some than others. If it is classified as temptation, then I agree that it is definitely overcome-able. If not, then I could not say for sure. I tend to lean toward the belief that the attraction itself is not temptation but that enticings based on that attraction may be temptations. Such as wanting to be in a relationship with a person or committing a certain act with them–those are definitely temptations. But I tend to believe that the attraction itself is not temptation.
At any rate, with all of that aside, the Church has said quite clearly that some people may not be able to be married in this life. That may be because they never find a person with whom to share their life, or it may be because they are not attracted to anyone of the opposite sex. But the doctrine of the Church is also that any person who does not have the opportunity to marry in this life will have the opportunity in the next life. So, a person being born gay and living their entire life gay does not preclude them from exaltation. It is still possible for them to be exalted even though they are never able to “overcome†their homosexuality.
Finally, concerning your statement about suicidal people, there are clearly many different reasons why people commit suicide. It may be, as you say, that they feel that what they are doing is wrong and they have no way to reconcile it. However, I pose that there are myriad other reasons that a gay teen would commit suicide–particularly one in the Church. It is quite understandable that a person may feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with them individually if they are told that being gay is a choice and that they can change from it, when their whole life they have tried to change and tried to be straight and have been unsuccessful. It may not be because they cannot reconcile their actions with the teachings of God, but that they cannot reconcile their feelings. Since the church itself has “While many Latter-day Saints, through individual effort, the exercise of faith, and reliance upon the enabling power of the Atonement, overcome same-gender attraction in mortality, others may not be free of this challenge in this life.†I feel no need to disagree with this. Some people may not be able to become attracted to a member of the opposite sex and marry them while in this life. Therefore, there must be another way to reconcile this seeming contradiction to the statement that God would not create a person that is incapable of achieving exaltation, and I think that the answer to that is in the statement that they will have the chance to marry in the next life. So, again I just state that perhaps one reason why so many people are committing suicide is that they feel alienated and misunderstood by the society that they live in. I think we can all try a little bit harder to be a bit more compassionate and reach out to other people. We all are broken and we all need the Savior to be healed. Let us reach out our hand of fellowship to our gay friends and neighbors and invite them to come unto Christ as well. And understand that they did not choose to be attracted to members of the same sex. Yes, they may choose whether or not they enter a homosexual relationship, but they did not ask to be gay.
I concede that my comment about suicide is an undeveloped thought in my mind. I support what the church has said about how we should treat others and I am sure that individuals who struggle with same sex attraction may receive more than their fair share of ridicule and surely have more internal struggle as they work to reconcile those feelings.
I have a hard time accepting the idea that same sex attraction is a fundamental part of someone’s identity and that someone with this type of attraction must spend their entire lives denying themselves of meaningful relationships. It just doesn’t fit with my understanding of God. I also know that we enter the next life with the same spirit as we left this life, including all the addictions and temptations that we experience here. That principle battles with the idea that it will just be made right in the next life. I know that those that are faithful will receive every blessing that has been promised. I realize that my statements contradict what people with same attraction claim, I know that I don’t have all the answers. All I can do is apply to this situation is my logic and understanding of God’s nature and so much of what those who struggle with same -sex attraction differs from the conclusions that I have made. I do not know how to reconcile the two. I admit to having written something about which I cannot understand.