Virtute.org

Whereas I remember the day of our accident in great detail, I remember snapshots of the months that followed. 

Grandma Bird came down right away to stay with us, but she was only there for a few days (I think) before my O’Bryant Grandparents came from Tennessee.

Grandma and Grandpa stayed in my room (which was in the downstairs East corner of the house at the time).  I remember that Grandpa would go out in the morning and get the Enquirer and breakfast at a fast food place.  I don’t know if he did this all the time or just a time or two (maybe every Saturday).  I also remember that he slept with a big pile of blankets on his feet (whereas I liked to stick my feet out of the blankets to sleep) and that once I was scolded for leaving my drawers open in my room when I had gone in to get some clothes.

I remember Grandma getting a big head of lettuce out, cutting it into quarters and sprinkling some sugar on it for dinner once.  She said it was an easy dinner that we could make.

I remember that Lee and I got into a fight and Lee was scolded and told that he should never hit a girl (I think that made him even madder at me because he thought I got off the hook). 

I remember Barbara telling me that Bryan was in a coma and what if he never wakes up.  I remember being in my parents room and thinking that I should be sobbing and sad about Bryan, but I couldn’t feel sad and worried about him.  I thought that God was protecting me from the grief that I should have felt.  I cried for my mother, but I couldn’t cry for Bryan.

I remember the first time I saw my mom in the hospital afterwards.  She could hardly move.  She was in traction with a big thing around her arm and screws drilled into her arm.  I went home and cried afterwards. 

I remembered where Mom’s room was because there was a clock hanging up at the top of the wall across from her door.  One time when I visited Mom, she had a doll of Sarah’s.  Sarah had sent it to her to give her hugs since she couldn’t give them to Mom herself.  Another time, I remember her asking my Grandma to shave her armpits (that’s the first time I had ever heard of shaving your armpits).

I remember hearing that my Mom was really depressed and wishing there was something I could do.  I know she felt a lot of guilt about the accident.  My Grandma brought her Janice Kapp Perry tapes to help her feel less depressed.  My Grandma also tracked down my Mom’s favorite professor from college (Brother George Pace) and had him call her.   One time, I remember that there was an article in the paper about the accident and we tried to hide it from Mom, but she saw it anyway and it made her cry.  I remember my Grandma trying to cheer her up by telling her funny stories like the time the Paynes left a kid at the gas station on the way home from TN and when they got back to the gas station CNN was there.  We all laughed at that one.

I remember that Barbara got to go up to Cleveland to see Sarah and Bryan before me and that I was jealous and thought that it was unfair because I was closer to Bryan than she was.

I remember when I finally did get to go to Cleveland.  I held Bryan and rocked him.  His head was swollen and he had a half circle incision mark where his shunt had been put in.  His room was grey and with a grey crib and he slept in something with an incline in his crib (maybe his car seat).  Dad said that his swelling was down from where it had been.  He had one toy.  It was a rattle and it was red and blue, but I may have been warned not to over-stimulate him.  Dad said that the Doctors at first told him that he’d never be able to walk or talk and that all he’d do is sit in a chair and drool, but that their prognosis kept getting better.

Sarah had a bandage around her head and was in a body cast.  The cast started above her waist and covered her legs it was in the shape of an A with her toes sticking out and it had a cut out that we stuffed a diaper in.  

A woman from the local ward (a member of our faith who we had never met before) had given Sarah some silky nightgowns and a little Mermaid poster.  I was shocked when I met this woman later and found out that she had 10 kids of her own (they were young too, some of them were my age). 

They had a funny thing to wheel Sarah around in.  I remember pushing her around the hospital in it.  The hospital was bright and cheery and had a little path where you crossed a little bridge.  As we went over the bridge, we hit a little bump and the jolt gave me a flashback of our accident (I had these flashbacks for months after our accident).

I remember how neat the Ronald McDonald house was and that it had a kitchen with a freezer full of frozen dinners that anyone could have for free.  It also had a game room and all the games were free to play.

I remember when Sarah came home.  We got balloons and made a bed for her in the living-room.  We brought all the stuffed animals that we could find to watch The Little Mermaid with her (I probably remember that because we have a picture of it somewhere).  I remember propping her up in her body cast between some chairs so that she could color because she couldn’t sit up in her cast. 

The day she got her cast off her legs looked really gross and skinny with skin flaking off of them.  They told her she couldn’t walk yet so we carried her around.  I had put her on my bed downstairs and she climbed down off the bed and was walking along the furniture holding onto things when I came back—I was shocked.

I remember visiting Mom and then Mom and Bryan at Greensprings.  They had a little pond outside with enormous swans that I was a little bit afraid of.  I remember rocking with Bryan at Greensprings and he either smiled or laughed and we were so happy.

I remember finding out that mom was coming home and that she’d have a nurse.
And I remember that it was spring and our family was finally all back together and we finally got to open our Christmas presents.  I remember laughing about Christmas in May (or was it April) and not being mad that we had to wait.  I don’t remember what I got and I didn’t even care that we were getting presents because having Christmas meant that our family was back to normal again.