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I have hesitated to write this post because I don’t know if this is something that will embarrass my child at some point in his life and he would be mad that I had written about it in such a public venue or if this is the sort of thing that people shouldn’t write about publicly. I hope that the reason I posted this is clear by the end of my post.

When I was younger, ADHD became a seemingly popular diagnosis.  I remember hearing about it a lot and hearing about medications that had a lot of negative side effects which included taking a kid’s personality away or dulling it so much that they didn’t feel like themselves.

When Zach first suggested that Isaac might have ADHD, I was very skeptical.  We both agreed that he’s not hyperactive.  Sure he got distracted a lot when he needed to do homework, or when he was suppose to be cleaning his room, but he could spend hours building with Legos.  He could also spend hours reading books in bed.  I remember when he was 2 or 3 that they were building a house behind our house and he’d spend as much as 3 hours at a time watching all the trucks working. 

This year Isaac has had a writing assignment where he has to write a paragraph about the book(s) he had read during the week.  It would take him 20 min to write one sentence and he’d forget the sentence 3 times before he had written it.  As you can imagine, helping him write a paragraph took a long time and was very frustrating. 

Sometimes I’d send him up to his room  to change into his PJs and he’d get distracted right in the middle of getting changed and I’d find him in his room playing with Legos in his underwear.   But, he still seemed to be able to do some desirable activities for long stretches of time, so surely he couldn’t have attention problems.

I was still unsure whether he had a diagnosable problem when I went into our goal setting conference with his teacher.  When I asked her some direct questions about how Isaac does working in class, she told me that she regularly has to tap on his desk to remind him to stay on task.  That was a turning point for me.  I called the Doctor’s office to schedule an appointment. 

Before meeting with the doctor, I picked up a packet of forms to be filled out by both parents and several of his teachers.  Before I go on with my story, I need to explain a little bit about ADHD that I didn’t really know before

They no longer use the term ADD, all Attention Deficit Disorders are now officially called:  "Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder."  There are three types of AD/HD:

• predominantly Inattentive Type for someone with serious inattention problems, but not much problem with hyperactivity/impulsive symptoms.
• combined type for someone with serious inattention problems and serious problems with hyperactivity and impulsivity
• predominately hyperactive/impulsive type for someone with serous problems with hyperactivity/impulsivity, but not much problem with inattention.

When I looked over the forms that we filled out, everyone marked that Isaac displayed almost all of the characteristics in the Inattentive category.  At that point, I was sure he would be getting a diagnosis and I was a little discouraged about it.  I had heard about a painstaking process of trying different medications and therapies and I was not looking forward to it.  The part of the form that upset me the most was in a section where his teacher had marked something about him being more troublesome in class than most of the other kids.  

Zach came with me for Isaac’s official diagnosis which came at the beginning of December.  We were given a prescription and advised to start with a half dose. 

After almost a week, there was no noticeable difference.  So on Sunday, partly because I was short on time before church, I gave him a full dose.  That evening he had to do his writing assignment.  I didn’t have to badger him to do it.  He got started and wrote his entire assignment by himself.  He didn’t even ask me to help him with any sentences, but the most shocking thing was his handwriting.  This is what his handwriting usually looks like (big and runs together): Usually I try to remind him to write neatly and use good spacing and it doesn’t do any good, but this time I didn’t say anything and I was absolutely shocked to see the change in his hand writing:

On his first day at school after taking a full dose, he said that it was easier to pay attention in class and when he took a quiz he was the first one done which was not usually the case.  That evening, he completed his homework without needing reminders to stay on task at all.  His teacher reported:

“I did notice he was a lot less active yesterday and I didn’t have to remind him nearly as much to stay focused on the task at hand.  He completed his reading assignment without prompts to stay on task.”

I have noticed a change at church.  When he was unmediated, he would be overly affectionate at church.  In my mind I called him “octopus arms” because he was always trying to put his arms around me and hug me awkwardly all through sacrament meeting and I was always putting his arms back in his lap or moving them to a less awkward place which they never stayed in for long.  Since starting his medication, he hasn’t turned into “octopus arms” and he has actually paid attention and remembered what was said during the meeting!

Today Isaac had his one month follow-up.  I asked his teacher how she thought he was doing and this is what she reported:

“I’ve noticed that Isaac is able to remain focused on a single task for a longer period of time.  He has stopped fidgeting with materials at his desk, namely pencils and appears to be less distracted with things like folding paper into airplanes or other objects.  He is able to write more, volume, and for a longer period of time.”

On the way to the appointment I asked Isaac how he felt about the medication.  He said that he felt embarrassed when he was not on it.  He said he felt like he had more control when he was taking his medication and that one reason kids don’t like him is because he kept picking his nose, but with the medication he doesn’t pick his nose.

So I write this post because of the difference this diagnosis has made for my son.  The doctor said that they usually don’t identify kids with the inattentive form of AD/HD until age 10 so we did a good job recognizing the symptoms and bringing him in.  I feel sad for the struggles that he had because of this problem before his diagnosis.  I feel bad for my little boy who wants so much to be good and not get in trouble, but who has had this problem making it very hard for him to sit still and pay attention.  I feel bad for my socially awkward little boy who mentally beat himself up for picking his nose, but couldn’t seem to stop.  And I feel bad for the other struggles which have hurt his self image, but were out of his control to fix.  But I am also very grateful.  I am grateful for the relief of struggles with getting him to do his homework.  I’m grateful for the improvement in his writing.  But mostly I’m grateful that he is still himself, but that he has more confidence and that this medication has made life easier for him.