Author Archives: Zach
Nicole digging at the beach
Charlotte in the play house
This is a picture of Charlotte in the kid-size doll house at the Oak Ridge Children’s Museum. The kids had a great time running around in this thing.
Isaac and Charlotte Perform a Puppet Show
Isaac and Charlotte and Trains
Nicole figured it out!
Isaac Discusses Spaceship Construction
Paying Attention
Note: I know it’s probably a little gauche to blog so soon after an event like this. However, I want to get my feelings sorted out and writing is a good method. Might as well update everyone while I’m at it.
I left the house this morning in a somewhat grumpy rush. Often I’ll forget my morning prayers during my usual routine, so I’ll pray in the car before I pull out. I was in enough of a rush this morning that I only really prayed for two things; that I’d be safe and my children would be safe as we traveled about today.
For some reason, my attention wandered and I did not see that the light was red. We got hit on the driver’s side, smacked a pole on the passenger side, and wound up where you see us. As we were smashed from side to side, I was calm; I’m generally calm enough when these things happen, but I felt for some reason that things were fine. I had reason to doubt when we saw the children.
Joyful Day
Six years ago yesterday Kathleen and I checked into the hospital expecting to have a kid. As the day went on, we waited for our boy to come. Well, he was a stubborn kid. I took this picture out the window as the sun was setting:
Well, it was early the next morning before Isaac got here. I’m sure many of you know the instant love and joy that you feel when a new child is born. This was the first time I felt it, and while I feel the same when each child is born, it’s always as if it’s the first time.
Here’s the boy and his mom:
What a great day. It felt like we were finally a family.
Kids Catching Fireflies
Isaac splashing into Nicole
Nicole and George
Checking on the baby bunnies
Their mom is feeding them about once a night, between 7 and 9 PM. They look pretty healthy; their eyes are opening and their fur is growing. I try not to bug them more than it takes to peek in and make sure they’re fat and healthy.
Rabbit Nest
This is a nest of new-born rabbits in my front yard. I’m keeping a close eye on it in hopes no cats or raccoons get them.
Why we don’t get it
It’s about time. We only see time going forward. Ask any physicist to tell you why time goes the direction it does. They don’t know; how can they know? Just one example of how only appealing to the observable is fruitless in the measure of our lives.
One thing we understand about God is that He is outside time. He sees the whole. Thus Robert Frost is incorrect when he says “nothing gold can stayâ€. Though the “gold†in our lives rises and subsides and is gone, the beauty and truth of that gold is eternal. The blossom is as beautiful as the fruit, which is as beautiful as the seed. What Frost lacks is perspective; he does not comprehend Time.
My cat had a beautiful life. From being a sickly little kitten to a cranky adult, right down to his last breaths in my arms, there’s beauty to be enjoyed and cherished. Even the ache I feel with him passing is so laced with gratitude that it’s something to be cherished. The fact that I miss this creature so much is evidence of the great gift it was to have him at all.
CS Lewis said that the anticipation and memory of an event are as precious as the event itself. Quote from Out of the Silent Planet: “A pleasure is full grown only when it is remembered. You are speaking, Hmân, as if the pleasure were one thing and the memory another.â€
This life is bitterly, harshly, deeply hard sometimes. The loss of my cat is a small thing compared to the griefs that this life can bring. But it is an example of how even grief can be turned to joy when it’s seen in the context of truth. This life is for us to have joy. God sent me a cat to increase my joy. How can I be sad when I know this, even though our time together is over?
It makes me think of my grandparents, too. How much more precious were the times I spent with them now that three of them are gone? The grief crystallizes and sanctifies the joy. These memories spark a fierce love for them and a great yearning to see them again. That I will see them again is clear in the light of faith and hope; we have the assurance.
We have to see the whole. Within the whole of any life there’s much beauty. Then, when we realize that this life is just a sliver of time, we begin to wonder about eternal lives. We can have joy today, joy tomorrow, and then Endless joy.
So those are my ramblings late on a Friday when I’m thinking about my cat. Now I’m going to go pet Eustace.
Jack at Charlotte’s brithday
Jack being imperious in the linen closet
Size doesn’t matter
A patient cat.
So Long, Jack
We know when we get a kitten that they don’t live very long. I’ve always told myself that they’ve come here to Earth, and we get a chance to give them lives of comfort, safety and love.
Little Jack was a “free kittens†ad in the newspaper. I went to see the kittens, and they had two; one black, and one calico. I couldn’t decide, so I took them both. The black male I named Cracker Jack (usually just Jack) and the calico female I named Sweet Anne-Marie (usually just Marie). The little chickens spent their whole first day hiding in the closet.
When Marie was killed by a car, Jack was my little furry comforter.
Jack was definitely my cat; he’d sleep with me in the bed. He would always come when I called. He was the strangest little animal; he loved to play with pants you’d leave on the floor, shooting through the pant legs. He’d always get into boxes of packing peanuts and make a huge mess. He would perch in high places and swat at your head.
Jack had an easy purr; he’d always be glad for me to scratch his ears. He’d let me play rough with him, rolling him around and tickling his belly.
Tonight after work Jack was just lying on the floor in the sun room. He’d been losing weight, but today he felt like just skin and bones. I got out some of his favorite wet cat food, but he wouldn’t take any.
I had to take him to a vet in Sevierville because there were none open closer. After ruling out FIV, the vet did X-rays and blood work. The X-ray showed so much fluid in his lungs that it was a wonder he was still breathing. When the blood work came back, it showed his liver had failed as well. The only real choice was to let him go.
While we were waiting, I held him and petted him. He showed no anxiety and just seemed content to be with me. He purred, in spite of the condition of his lungs. He purred right up to the end.
We have a short time with our little friends. I wouldn’t trade any of the sorrow and hurt I feel right now for the great friendship I had with my little furry buddy. Between the sorrow and the loss I feel gratitude for such a good cat. I’ll miss him terribly for a while, but I have it on good authority that the Grace of our Savior heals even these hurts. After the sorrow of this life, even in the middle of it, there is hope “smiling brightly before usâ€.
So long, Jack. You were the best cat a man could have.