Helpful Siblings
This morning the kids decided that Nicole needed some toys. They started bringing toys in one by one and before I knew it she was surrounded in toys!
Naps
Charlotte gave up naps completely probably a month or two ago. She used to take a 
good nap in the afternoon, but I’d go to turn off some of the lights in her room two hours after I put her to bed and she’d still be awake looking at books. So when she no longer seemed to be able to fall asleep during the day I figured it was for the best because she started falling to sleep at night much more quickly. This picture is of one of the few occasions that she has decided she still needs a nap. I left her coloring while I ran to the bread store (Zach was in our room) and when I came home she was right where I left her sound asleep.
Chores Update
I was initially disappointed by how quickly Isaac and Charlotte’s zest for chores dissipated, but things are improving now. Understanding timing is important. I’ve learned that they have no desire to do chores if they’re already doing something that they enjoy. That seems like an obvious lesson, but I tried bribing them away from toys in order to do work and it didn’t work and just frustrated me. If I really want to motivate my children, I must create a scarcity that can only be filled through chores. I haven’t been willing to create much of a scarcity for play because they get into trouble if I don’t give them engaging play options. There are two types of things that I am able to create a scarcity in and I have used those two things as my motivators. One is treats/sweets and the other is one-on-one time with mom. As you can see from the picture, they are required to complete four chores for a treat of their choosing. The second part is trickier. Each time t
hey fill a small treat strip, they get to add a picture of themselves to the outing progress cha rt. After four pictures (16 chores) they get an outing with mom. The other children go to Grandma’s house while the child who earned the outing spends time with mom. Outings include things like a bicycle ride (which Isaac is currently working toward), swimming, a trip to the library, or a trip to the park. This system has been rewarding in multiple ways. It allows me to regulate treat intake better, the kids are enjoying doing chores, and I get to spend one on one time with each of them (Nicole gets her mom time at 2:00AM or 4:00AM ).
Fingerpaint
I attend a preschool group with some other stay-at-home moms in the ward and it was my turn to bring the craft. So I looked online and found this cheap, easy recipe for finger paint. I made it the night before and by the time I brought it it was clumpy and the food coloring was difficult to wash off little hands. I wonder if I cooked it wrong (I got impatient and turned up the heat). It really 
sounded like a good idea, but I was disappointed in the outcome.
Isaac
I wrote about the girls, so I suppose I should write
something about my boy. He is such a clever and curious boy. He sometimes drives us nutty with his questions and regularly expresses what maybe inner desires by saying "what if the naughty guys. . ." We actually convinced him to replace the words "naughty guys" with "democrats" for a day. I found it much more amusing to hear him worry that the democrats would do bad things. He had concerns like "what if the democrats came in and ate my dinner and they wouldn’t let me eat it." or "what if the democrats wouldn’t let me ride my bicycle." Part of me worries about offending people, but then the other part of m e says "I don’t care if I’m politically correct or sensitive or whatever" and the second part wins because mostly I don’t really care.
Does he look like a wealthy (and therefore evil) oil tycoon in this picture? Maybe Obama could use it to further his class warfare argument!
Charlotte
Charlotte is my momma’s girl. She insists on hugs first thing in the morning, at 
bedtime and periodically throughout the day. Unfortunately, I’m not always available for hugging. She crawls on my lap as I’m feeding Nicole, insists I put Nicole in the swing or just cries at my feet. Sometimes she grabs my legs as I’m walking and holding Nicole and I feel bad when I have to free my legs and step over her as she slumps to the ground and cries. Zach thinks that I reinforce her crying when I give her hugs when she cries and clings, and I agree somewhat, but how can I deny her hugs? I have tried a few times insisting that she calm down and ask nicely for a hug, but there are times when I’m taking care of the baby and I really can’t hug her even if she ask nicely so I can’t immediately reinforce the behavior I want. I try to hug her periodically when I’m not trying to calm or feed Nicole, but I feel awful when all she wants is a hug from her mother and I can’t give her one.
Nicole
My little Nicole is unique. The first comment I always get is about how her is that her 
coloring is so much darker than my other two. One day I was sitting in my rocking chair holding Nicole and Isaac said "Mom, Nicole is brown!" I don’t really notice a difference most of the time because I’m so used to looking at her.
She’s the only one of the three who I didn’t have to kick out with drugs (I was induced for Isaac and Charlotte, but Nicole came several weeks early), she’s a fountain of spit-up (my other two spit-up a few times a week–Nicole spits up a few times an hour), and I think she cries more than the others (she has these inconsolable crying fits). On a typical day she took two half hour naps, ate every two hours, and could only tolerate not being held for five minute increments before she would start crying. She’s gotten a little better about allowing me to put her down the last few days, but she’s traded that for keeping me up more at night.
I was prepared to wait it all out and hope that before long she’d keep food down, cry less and sleep more, but other family members convinced me to seek some medical advise. I don’t know why I’m so reluctant sometimes, maybe I’m afraid to get my hopes up that things could actually be easier. As it is I’m tired all the time and I don’t have as much one-on-one time with my other kids as I’d like, and I never have enough time to accomplish much beyond keeping the house mostly clean. So I took her to my most trusted physician in Spanish Fork. He gave her a thorough exam and listened to my description of concerns and prescribed some Zantac for a possible acid reflux problem. He says it may take two weeks to show any results, but if she gets worse or it doesn’t help after that I should call him and set up another appointment.
Sorry this blog is so dull, hopefully I’ll write a celebration blog in a few weeks to exclaim my excitement at how much happier my littlest girl is.
A Yard?!
If you’ve been to our house in the last almost three years, you should know that we keep talking about having a yard with grass, but till now it’s been all talk. The story of how it got here is long and dull, but here’s a little slideshow of progress. The second part of the yard should have sod installed tomorrow and the back will take us longer yet–but look—PROGRESS!
Exersaucer?
So I got this toy when Isaac was a baby and honestly, neither he nor Charlotte liked it much and since it has such a big storage footprint, Zach says that if number three doesn’t like it we should just get rid of it. So she may be a little young, but I put Nicole in it the other day and you can see her response below:
The question is. .. . should we keep it?
Beyond the Pale
The recent Obama ad mocking John McCain has gotten me a little riled. Yes, John McCain doesn’t use a computer much. I recommend looking at this article from Slate for a little insight into the real McCain background on telecommunications and the internet.
For the mockers, here’s the key line: ". . .because of his war injuries, he is limited in his ability to wield a keyboard." John McCain had his arms and fingers broken multiple times as a result of his commitment to this nation. Let’s use a little caution when making fun of his ability to tap out an email.
Site Issues
We’re having confusion and delay with our hosting company. Some of you may be looking for different websites, and I’d like to point you in the right direction while we work through things:
Modstomp.com – www.virtute.org/modstomp/
TheHaymonds – http://www.virtute.org/virtute/thehaymonds/
Thanks for your patience, gentle visitor.
Preschooler’s Dictionary
Here are some definitions from my little ones:
Hinges = elbows or knees Context: Just before dinner he told me that his tummy was full because elevators in his legs had carried salad up past his hinges to his tummy and filled him up. When I told him we were having tacos, he said the elevators took the salad back down.
Mystery Symbol = question mark Context: While typing, Isaac asks “Mom, where’s my mystery symbol?”
The toilet’s esophagus = the part of the toilet directly below the bowl that leads down into the ground Context: “mom, is this the toilet’s esophagus?”
Shampoo for hands = soap Context: I sent Isaac in to wash his hands. He came back out and said “I have no shampoo for hands–that is soap.”
Crying when I’m swimming show = Olympic swimming Context: Charlotte has been 
enjoying the Olympics. So far her favorite event is swimming which she called the “crying when I’m swimming show.” As soon as they started playing the national anthem she told me that the men would start crying.
Die = kill Context: The light was peaking in through the blinds and making little spots of light on the ground. Isaac started hitting the spots and saying “I’m going to die this light”
Neverending Laundry
I actually used to enjoy doing the laundry. It was my excuse to sit down and watch a show while I folded clothes. That was before I had three children now it seems to have become the 
bain of my existence. Between the baby’s spit-up and drool and the messy eating and accidents from my other two, I end up doing laundry nearly everyday. If that weren’t enough, I never get through folding a batch without at least three interruptions, some of which last for a half an hour or more. If I save it till the kids are in bed and I’ve done my other nightly chores, I find myself too tired to finish it. I feel like I’m always in some stage of doing laundry–this is one of those things that gets better with time right? How old do the kids have to be before I insist they wash, dry and fold their own clothes? I’m considering starting them all on their own laundry at age 5, while I’m at it, I could start charging rent at age 10!
Time for Chores!
I’ve been frustrated at my lack of time lately and feeling like I’ll never have the time to do more than maintain the level that I have now. It was in pondering this dilemma that I determined to try having my preschoolers help. Today I had them try a variety of different chores so that I could determine which chores were best for each child and what I needed to teach each child to increase his or her repertoire of chores. Most of my surveying was with Isaac, as he’s the older and more willing of the two. We started off with the toilet. He did ok, but needed direction on where and how to wipe all of the surfaces, how to hold the spray cleaner, and how to squirt the toilet cleaner into the toilet, but for some reason he enjoyed the task. Later in the day he used the toilet and then reported that it needed to be cleaned again. I taught him how to clean a mirror (using the one in his room). At dinnertime I had him clear the table and rinse all of the dishes. He did these chores well and with little need for direction. Charlotte did the laundry and scooped the litter. She switched clothes from the washer to the dryer and unloaded the dryer when it was done. She did so well that I could actually walk away while she was working and she persisted through and finished. The litter didn’t have much to scoop, so that lesson will have to be resumed later.
It was a successful trial. I found a few chores that they could do independently that would actually help me. I think I may spend some more time training them before implementing a chore chart and rewards system, but so far so good.
Tigers
I’m not really sure why Isaac has chosen tigers as his main f
ear, but he has. Each night he has to check all the locks before he goes to bed to make sure tigers can’t get in (because tigers don’t have keys). He whispers so the tigers don’t hear him until the doors are locked then he talks in a normal voice. Here are some of the things he has said about tigers:
6.30.08 (written by Zach) The boy worried that there were tigers outside trying to get in to "die" him. They were using ladders to come in from the sidewalk to the window. I told him that there were no tigers in Utah, but that if there were, and they tried to get in, I would boom them with my boomer. He asked if that would knock them over and make them say "aaah!".
Luckily, Charlotte was the voice of reason. She told Isaac that
tigers live in the jungle, not on the sidewalk.
8.20.08 Isaac asked Heavenly Father that "the cars that drive by that are too noisy will be bitten by the tigers" in his prayer tonight.
8.31.08 Isaac said he wanted a family of dogs with a mommy, a daddy, an Isaac, a Charlotte, and a Nicole dog. I told him that most people get just one dog. I told him that some people get a family of dogs. He said we are some people so we will get a family. Then he corrected himself and said that we are some people and kids. He continued by saying that the dogs would say "woof" and scare the tigers away so the dogs could keep the cats safe. As he continued to talk and postulate chickens were added to the equasion and he said the chickens would keep the dogs safe from tigers. When I asked him if he wanted a pet tiger, he said yes, but it would have to be in a cage and he used his hands to describe an inner cage and an outer cage and the outer cage would have a door but the inner cage would have no door.
Seattle
I think the death of my grandmother motivated us to plan a trip to visit our only surviving grandparent (Zach’s paternal grandmother) in Seattle and I’m glad it did because we had a great trip.
Zach, Isaac, Charlotte, and Zach’s parents left for Seattle at 5:00 AM on Saturday (8-23-08) and arrived in Seattle at about 7:20 PM (Utah time). By all accounts the children did well and the trip up was uneventful. I flew with Nicole that evening leaving Utah at about 9:20 and also had an uneventful trip.
Memories of my Grandmother
Today was
the graveside service for my grandmother Ila Terry O’Bryant. She was a remarkable woman. From the time I was very young, I always remembered feeling an intense sense of love when I was around my grandmother. As I got older, I longed for and cherished the moments I had with her. I have felt a special closeness between us, partly because I was named after her first child who suffered a tragic death when she was 2.
Grandma was a wonderful storyteller. I loved to li
sten to her tell stories of her childhood and family life. I remember when we’d go to visit, I’d sometimes stay up and just listen as she talked with my mother. When I was older she’d tell me stories and show me pictures. I have fond memories of sitting on her bed listening to her tell stories. She kept all her picture books in the front room and I enjoyed looking through them and imagining what life was like when she was young.
The Olympics through the eyes of Children
8.14.08 Charlotte has been enjoying the Olympics. So far her favorite event is swimming which she called the "crying when I’m swimming show." As soon as they started playing the national anthem she told me that the men wo
uld start crying. Today when she threw a tantrum during Zach’s lunch break he went in to help her through it. He finally got her to stop crying by singing the national anthem. When he finished the song she said she wanted to watch the "crying and swimming movie."
8.15.08 While watching the Olympics with us Isaac said "Now we feel good in our tummy because they win’d. If they didn’t win our tummies would not feel good?"
8.16.08 Isaac watched the track events for the first time. He ran with the athletes. When they’d say "Mark. . .Set. . .<<gunshot>>" he ran down the hall. He excitedly demonstrated how they jump hurdles to his father–it was quite an amusing display.
8.20.08 Today the kids played Olympics with aunt Krista. She taught Isaac how to start a race with your feet on an imaginary starting block, they practiced shot put throws, and then created their own sports. Isaac’s favorite was his own invention. It involved throwing a ball into a tree and you win if leaves fall down.
(The picture of Nicole has nothing to do with the comments except that it looks like she might be watching the Olympics with great hope for team USA)
Dealing with Death
This is an intensely personal subject for me, so this particular entry is not for the casual reader. I feel an almost therapeutic need to describe my emotions and the events surrounding my grandmother’s death. There are times when voiced words seem insufficient and bland, when only the written word can satisfy the need to pull out the emotions brimming beneath the surface–this, perhaps is one of those times.
On Friday August 1st at 8:00 AM my mother called me from Tennessee where she had just
arrived the night before and told me that my grandmother had what they suspected was a stroke sometime during the night. My thoughts were immediately turned to the idea that my grandmother was dying. I remember another time that my grandmother was very sick and in the hospital and I wondered if it could possibly be the end, my thoughts were different this time than they had been before, it was as if I already knew that this was the end. I knew it inside, but felt the lack of confidence in speaking those words. So as I went about my day, the words ‘my grandma is dying’ seemed to echo in my head constantly. I stood in line at the post office and when I looked over at the elderly lady next to me I thought ‘my grandma is dying’ and I started to cry. At the gym as I peddled on the bike I thought ‘my grandma is dying’ and I cried again.
Isaac and Charlotte Meet Some Animals
Omniture gave us some passes to Thanksgiving Point as part of the company party we had last week, so we took the toads up. Isaac was a little scared of the dinosaurs (I probably shouldn’t have told him they eat children), but Charlotte had no fear. Isaac kept reminding us that the dinosaurs were dead, so they were not hungry. I was pretty impressed at the displays; lots of good specimens. We were a little rushed going through; on the one hand, the kids got a little bored, and on the other, Isaac would get a little scared sometimes.
After the dinosaurs, we went over to Farm Country. This gave the kids a chance to see some goats, horses, llamas, cows, and chickens. No pigs, though? Some farm! A cow licked Charlotte, and they both got to ride ponies. Isaac cut a fine figure on his steed; maybe instead of building him a computer I should buy him some cows to herd. Speaking of cows, Charlotte managed to get licked by one.
Our last stop was the children’s garden, which was just ok. They did have a couple of little fountains that the kids played in. They’re the kind that sort of pop up from the ground randomly; Charlotte was looking at the hole for one, and got the whole thing right in the face. She’s a trooper, though; she shook it right off.
Anyway, pictures below:
Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.